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A SENIOR Cambridge University Conservative Association (CUCA) official has sensationally spilled the beans over rumours that a former member of the association could be in the running for Conservative Future (CF) National Chairman, TBG can reveal.
Election whispers about a Mr Zemlik of Corpus Christi College, Cambridge, and a former member of the distinguished Cambridge University Conservative Association are rife and one top-dog has dramatically exposed the powerful dark forces within CF bringing ever-closer its own "demise". He claims CUCA plan to bring down these shadowy figures in order to save the Tory party and the world, exclusively on TBG.
Our cloaked source revealed to TBG that the Cambridge University Conservative Association is:
- Fraternity of like-minded individuals
- Seeking to restore the divine light of natural reason to the world
- To restore the world to its former glory - A glory that preceded the ravages of globalisation moral relativism and inane technological advancement
He then went into some enlightening detail - "For some time now, there have been hushed rumours, murmurs, whispers among certain senior members of CUCA that the reason for CF's spectacular demise from a once influential youth organisation to a band of bickering juveniles is that it is in the grip of the Illuminati, an Enlightenment-era secret society turned rogue.
"It has been alleged that the Illuminati are seeking to make CF so unappealing and unprofessional that all the non-Illuminati members will quit in disgust either to establish their own Conservative youth organisation or to join Young Independence, leaving CF manned solely by a rump of dedicated Illuminati. Thence, they will re-build the organisation, using its leverage on the Conservative Party proper to put forward Illuminati candidates in certain safe seats in time for the 2020 elections.
"This line of reasoning, reached unanimously by the best intellects CUCA has to offer, clearly explains why individuals so repulsive to the majority of CF-ers, let alone Conservative voters, are continuously being elected to positions of national prominence within the organisation.
"As a result, they have both been considering running for positions on the CF National Executive to fight the Illuminati from within and restore CF to its former glory. I can say no more: forces malign examine my every move, the lizards know that CUCA is on to them and will do all in its power to stop them."
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